Good Answer
Here are some actual answers from contestants who have appeared on the game show Family Feud (Family Fortunes in the UK): Name something a blind person might use: a sword…
Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a West Virginian?
Here is a little
test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the
following
question:
You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the
corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises
the knife, and charges at you.
You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and
you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and
your family. What do you do?
THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN keep reading:
War on Leather at Motorcycle Rally
Activists Missing After Declaring “War on Leather” at Motorcycle Rally
Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) – Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers “duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters,” according to police officials.
“Something just went wrong,” said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. “Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong.”
The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, “growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats,” decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event “in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats.”
New Wal-Mart Discount Wines
Wal-Mart announced that, later this year , it will begin offering customers a new discount item – Wal-Mart’s own brand of wine. The world’s largest retail chain is teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2 – $5 range.
Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to put a bottle of Wal-Mart brand into their shopping carts, but “there is a market for inexpensive wine,” said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at the University of Arkansas.
“But the right name is important.”
Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Wal-Mart wine brand.
The top surveyed names in order of popularity were:
10. Chateau Traileur Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp
Tallented Duck
A duck walks into a deli and orders a rootbeer and a sandwich.
The clerk looks at him and says, “But you’re a duck.”
“I see your eyes are working,” replies the duck.
“And you talk!” exclaims the clerk.
“I see your ears are working,” says the duck, “Now can I have my rootbeer and my sandwich, please?”
“Certainly,” says the clerk, “sorry about that, it’s just we don’t get many ducks in this deli. What are you doing round this way?”
“I’m working on the building site across the road,” explains the duck.
So the duck drinks his rootbeer, eats his sandwich, pays and leaves. This continues for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringleader of the circus comes into the pub and the counter clerk tells him about the incredible talking duck.
Wisdom of the Aviator
- ‘Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death , I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing.’
- ‘You’ve never been lost until you’ve been lost at Mach 3.’
– Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot) - ‘The only time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.’
- ‘If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it’s probably a helicopter — and therefore, unsafe.’
- ‘When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.’
Military Wisdom and Proverbs
- ‘If the enemy is in range, so are you….’
– Infantry Journal - ‘It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.’
– U.S. Air Force Manual - ‘Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.’
– General MacArthur - ‘You, you, and you …. Panic. The rest of you, come with me.’
– U.S. Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt.
The Porsche and the Mo-ped
A very self-important young man goes out and buys what he believes is the best car available: a 1997 Porsche 911 Turbo. It is one of the fastest and most…
The Desert Traveller
A man on a camel rode through miles of the sun-drenched desert searching for some sign of life. His supplies were running low when his camel died. Now on foot,…
Corporate Talk
What the Ads Say, and What They Really Mean. Helping you figure out those slick and glossy sales pitches from Head-Hunters and recruiters. Here are what they actually mean. <!--more--><dl><dt>…