A confident woman dressed in business attire standing and leaning against a desk in a busy office. She holds a rolled-up document labeled "STATE CAPITOL" and has a slight smile. Around her, several colleagues are present: a man in a blue shirt taking notes, another man in a checkered shirt laughing and gesturing, and others working at computers or conversing in the background. The office has desks, computers, files, and a water cooler.

The Capitol of Blondes

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Goldie, a blonde office worker just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. So one evening she went home and memorized all the state capitals.

Back in the office the next day, Tony started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement,

“I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do…

How To Know You’re Ready For Parenthood

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MESS TEST: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer. TOY TEST: Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not available, [...]

Why Dogs Are Better Than Kids

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It doesn’t take 45 minutes to get a dog ready to go outside in the winter. Dogs cannot lie. Dogs never resist nap time. You don’t need to get extra phone lines for a dog. Dogs don’t pester you about getting a kid. Dogs don’t care if the peas have been touched by the mashed [...]

Women’s Profound Sayings

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- Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring. - One of life’s mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 lbs. - The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes. - The nice [...]

Truthful Sayings from Grandpa

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Wisdom from Grandpa… - Whether a man winds up with a nest egg, or a goose egg, depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries. - Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin’ his salt, that he forgets his sugar. - Too many couples marry for better, or [...]

10 Things a Mother Doesn’t Want to Hear

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1. I swallowed a goldfish. 2. Your lipstick works better than crayons. 3. Does grape juice leave a stain? 4. The principal called… 5. But DAD says that word all the time. 6. What’s it cost to fix a window? 7. Has anyone seen my earthworms? 8. I painted your shoes pretty, huh Mommy? 9. [...]

Things Women Want to Hear, but Never Do

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Wow, I just don’t know what to do with this money we won in the lottery, so why don’t you take it to the mall and see if you can find something to buy with it. Hey, how about inviting your mother to spend the summer with us. Oh, go ahead and eat that third [...]

Abort, Retry, Ignore To Hackers Nevermore

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Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary, System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor, Longing for the warmth of bed sheets, Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets: Having reached the bottom line, I took a floppy from the drawer. Typing with a steady hand, I then invoked the SAVE [...]