Humor – Heltsley Home Page

A colorful illustration featuring a proud black rooster wearing a blue ribbon that says "1st Place" around its neck. The rooster stands next to a cluster of eggs, a small bell, and a paper labeled "Efficiency Report." In the background, there are silhouettes of hens and two barn-like buildings. Text at the top reads, "Dear TSF: Prize Rooster," and below it says, "A tale of clever hens, silent bells & the 'pullet surprise.'" The scene is set in a farmyard.

The Politician in the Chicken Coop

By keith August 28, 2026HumorNo Comments

A farmer uses tiny bells to measure the efficiency of his roosters, only to discover one particularly clever bird that figures out how to silence his bell and pull off the ultimate quiet operation.

Dear TSF: Sneaky Irishman

By keith August 19, 2026HumorNo Comments

A listener writes in from Dingle, Ireland, with a funny story about meeting an old man fishing in a puddle outside a pub—and getting completely reeled in.

Cartoon showing a woman with a concerned or angry expression looking at a man holding a scale displaying "200." The woman has short brown hair and wears a pink shirt, while the man has short brown hair and wears a green shirt with a white collar. Behind them are two cars, one red and one white, appearing in a garage or showroom setting. The man presents the scale to the woman, suggesting a focus on weight or health.

Buying a Car: Be Careful What You Wish For

By keith August 12, 2026Contributors, Humor

A wife asks her husband for something that goes from 0 to 200 in just a few seconds for her birthday. He delivers—just not in the way she expected. A husband and wife were debating on buying a new car. She wanted a fast sports car. He wanted a pickup. As time passed on, her birthday came up and she thought it a great time to fulfill her wish. She told her husband, “Look, I want something that can go from 0 to 200. [...]

A cozy living room featuring a wooden table holding two large books titled "THE FOOTBALL SEASON" and "RECIPES FOR LIFE," a small ceramic cup, and a smoking pipe. A comfortable red and beige knit blanket is draped over a chair. In the background, a flat-screen TV displays a football game in progress. The room is warmly lit by natural light through a window, and there is a framed quirky poster on the wall with a whisk and knife, labeled "A WIN TIME SHOW."

On the Sidelines

By keith August 5, 2026HumorNo Comments

A wife was sitting on the living-room couch watching her favorite show on the Food Network when her husband walked in. "Why do you watch those food shows?" he asked.…

Three adults seated at a round table in a formal restaurant setting. Two people, a man and a woman on the left, appear engaged in conversation, the man gesturing with his hands. The third person, an older man sitting opposite them, looks serious and slightly surprised. A speech bubble with an exclamation mark points to him, indicating he is reacting to the conversation. The table is set with wine glasses, plates, and a lit candle between them.

Secret Message

By keith July 29, 2026HumorNo Comments

My husband, Michael, and I were at a restaurant with his boss, a rather stern older man. When Michael started telling a story I was sure he’d already shared, I gave him a kick under the table.

There was no response, so I gave him another poke. Still the story went on.

Suddenly he stopped, grinned and said, “Oh, but I’ve told you this one before, haven’t I?”

We all chuckled and changed the subject. Later, on the dance floor, I asked my husband why it had taken him so long to get my message.

A confident woman dressed in business attire standing and leaning against a desk in a busy office. She holds a rolled-up document labeled "STATE CAPITOL" and has a slight smile. Around her, several colleagues are present: a man in a blue shirt taking notes, another man in a checkered shirt laughing and gesturing, and others working at computers or conversing in the background. The office has desks, computers, files, and a water cooler.

The Capitol of Blondes

By keith July 16, 2026HumorNo Comments

Goldie, a blonde office worker just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. So one evening she went home and memorized all the state capitals.

Back in the office the next day, Tony started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement,

“I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do…

Humorously illustrating "Corporate Talk: Decoding What They Actually Mean." It shows a man holding a large key to a computer screen listing corporate jargon like "Fast-paced," "Dynamic team," and "Immediate opening." Arrows point to icons symbolizing their real meanings, such as question marks or speech bubbles. In the background, two office workers repeat "No time to train you," emphasizing the unspoken truths behind common corporate phrases. The scene pokes fun at confusing job ad language.

Corporate Talk: 15 Recruitment Buzzwords (and Their Real Meanings)

By keith July 9, 2026HumorNo Comments

What the Ads Say, and What They Really Mean.

Helping you figure out those slick and glossy sales pitches from Head-Hunters and recruiters. Here are what they actually mean.

Answers to Test Questions Compiled by Music Teachers

By keith November 16, 2020HumorNo Comments

From the Missouri School Music Newsletter, these are answers to test questions compiled by music teachers. Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music. A refrain in…

How To Know You’re Ready For Parenthood

By keith March 31, 2019Contributors, Humor

MESS TEST: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer. TOY TEST: Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not available, [...]

Why Dogs Are Better Than Kids

By keith March 27, 2019Contributors, Humor

It doesn’t take 45 minutes to get a dog ready to go outside in the winter. Dogs cannot lie. Dogs never resist nap time. You don’t need to get extra phone lines for a dog. Dogs don’t pester you about getting a kid. Dogs don’t care if the peas have been touched by the mashed [...]