10 Things a Mother Doesn’t Want to Hear

  1. I swallowed a goldfish.

  2. Your lipstick works better than crayons.

  3. Does grape juice leave a stain?

  4. The principal called.

  5. But DAD says that word all the time.

  6. What’s it cost to fix a window?

  7. Has anyone seen my earthworms?

  8. I painted your shoes pretty, huh Mommy?

  9. The dog doesn’t like dressing up in your clothes.

  10. I’m moving out.