Goldie, a blonde office worker just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. So one evening she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, Tony started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with… Continue reading The Capitol of Blondes
Author: keith
Jumpers Anonymous
Connie told her 4-year-old grandson, Dean, not to jump on the beds. After several warnings she punished him, explaining that should he fall, he would hurt himself badly. Several minutes passed… and he was back to jumping
Rules of the Parking Lot
(How many of these can you relate to?) Rule #1 – When waiting for a parking spot, stop in the middle of the road, don’t signal, and orient your car diagonally to prevent others from passing. Rule #2 – Always park on the lines, taking up as many spots as possible. Diagonal parking is preferred.… Continue reading Rules of the Parking Lot
Hearing Problem
Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said,… Continue reading Hearing Problem
Felix the Cat
My aunt’s neighbor in New York had a beautiful black cat, named Felix, who spent his days outside and came indoors at night. One cool October evening, he disappeared. The neighbor searched for him in vain for several days. The following spring, however, Felix reappeared, looking healthy and clean. She figured he’s been out sowing… Continue reading Felix the Cat
SUNDAY SCHOOL Lesson
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class,… Continue reading SUNDAY SCHOOL Lesson
Good Answer
Here are some actual answers from contestants who have appeared on the game show Family Feud (Family Fortunes in the UK): Name something a blind person might use: a sword Name a song with moon in the title: blue suede moon Name a bird with a long neck: a penguin Name an occupation where you… Continue reading Good Answer
Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a West Virginian?
Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question: You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the… Continue reading Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a West Virginian?
War on Leather at Motorcycle Rally
Activists Missing After Declaring “War on Leather” at Motorcycle Rally Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) – Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing,… Continue reading War on Leather at Motorcycle Rally
New Wal-Mart Discount Wines
Wal-Mart announced that, later this year , it will begin offering customers a new discount item – Wal-Mart’s own brand of wine. The world’s largest retail chain is teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2 – $5 range. Wine connoisseurs may… Continue reading New Wal-Mart Discount Wines