New Wal-Mart Discount Wines

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Wal-Mart announced that, later this year , it will begin offering customers a new discount item – Wal-Mart’s own brand of wine. The world’s largest retail chain is teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2 – $5 range.

Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to put a bottle of Wal-Mart brand into their shopping carts, but “there is a market for inexpensive wine,” said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at the University of Arkansas.

“But the right name is important.”

Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Wal-Mart wine brand.

The top surveyed names in order of popularity were:

10. Chateau Traileur Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp

Tallented Duck

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A duck walks into a deli and orders a rootbeer and a sandwich.

The clerk looks at him and says, “But you’re a duck.”

“I see your eyes are working,” replies the duck.

“And you talk!” exclaims the clerk.

“I see your ears are working,” says the duck, “Now can I have my rootbeer and my sandwich, please?”

“Certainly,” says the clerk, “sorry about that, it’s just we don’t get many ducks in this deli. What are you doing round this way?”

“I’m working on the building site across the road,” explains the duck.

So the duck drinks his rootbeer, eats his sandwich, pays and leaves. This continues for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringleader of the circus comes into the pub and the counter clerk tells him about the incredible talking duck.

Wisdom of the Aviator

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  • ‘Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death , I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing.’
  • ‘You’ve never been lost until you’ve been lost at Mach 3.’

    – Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)

  • ‘The only time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.’
  • ‘If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it’s probably a helicopter — and therefore, unsafe.’
  • ‘When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.’

Military Wisdom and Proverbs

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  • ‘If the enemy is in range, so are you….’

    – Infantry Journal

  • ‘It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.’

    – U.S. Air Force Manual

  • ‘Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.’

    – General MacArthur

  • ‘You, you, and you …. Panic. The rest of you, come with me.’

    – U.S. Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt.

Descendants of Jacob Helsley, Sr.

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Reposted from: 2010-03-26 08:21:07

This geneology was originally found at:
http://bgwilliams.tripod.com/heltsley.htm

I’ve made a few modifications and updates to it. Mostly changes that expand the branch of Jesse Albert Heltsley. More could be made, but I chose not to go to the 8th and 9th levels. Acctually there are probably as many as 10 and 11 levels now. If any information is inaccurate, or can be filled out with more detail, let me know so I can take care of it. Thanks to Linda Sue Clark-Brown who did all the hard work of putting all this together.

Note: names indicated with