Two women met for the first time since graduating from high school.
One asked the other, “You were always so organized in school. Did you manage to live a well planned life?”
“Yes,” said her friend, “My first marriage was to a millionaire;
my second marriage was to an actor;
my third marriage was to a preacher;
and now I’m married to an undertaker.”
Her friend asked,
As a service to young, and expecting parents everywhere, I offer these few points of information.
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A: If it’s the flu, you’ll get better.
Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
Two old guys, Alvin and Jesse, are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide.
Alvin says to Jesse, “Sorry about that. I didn’t notice you there. I’m looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”
To which Jesse says, “That’s OK, it must be a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a little desperate.”
Alvin says, “Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?”
Jesse says, “Well, she is
