Answers to Test Questions Compiled by Music Teachers
From the Missouri School Music Newsletter, these are answers to test questions compiled by music teachers. Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music. A refrain in…
The Reality of a Visit from the Grandkids
Talking over coffee, the realization hits that you miss the grandkids, and wish they could visit more often. Wouldn't it be nice if they could stay over. We have the…
Reviving Old Proverbs
Old sayings and figures of speech get a second wind, with the help of 4th graders.
- The grass is always greener when…
- you leave the sprinkler on.
- A rolling stone…
- plays the guitar.
- The grass is always greener…
- when you remember to water it.
- A bird in the hand is…
- a real mess.
- No news is…
- no newspaper.
- It’s better to light one candle than…
- to waste electricity.
- It’s always darkest just before…
- I open my eyes.
- You have nothing to fear but…
- homework.
- If you can’t stand the heat…
- don’t start the fireplace.
- If you can’t stand the heat…
- go swimming.
Classy Names
George goes to the Birth Registration Office to register his newborn son.
The man behind the counter asks the name he wants to give to the boy, and the father replies: “Euro.”
The man says that such a name is not acceptable, because it’s a currency.
Child Rearing FAQ
As a service to young, and expecting parents everywhere, I offer these few points of information.
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A: If it’s the flu, you’ll get better.
Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
The Teenage Daughter Manual
Instructions for all those with teenage daughters or daughters who think they are teenagers or who will eventually be teenagers.
Teenager Manual Congratulations! You are now the proud new parent of a teenage daughter. Please read this manual carefully, as it describes the maintenance of your new daughter, and answers important questions about your warranty (which does NOT include the right to return the product to the factory for a full refund.)
IF YOU FEEL YOU HAVE RECEIVED YOUR TEENAGER IN ERROR: To determine whether you were supposed to receive a teenage girl, please examine your new daughter carefully. Does she: (a) Look very similar to your original daughter, only with more makeup and less clothing? (b) Refuse to acknowledge your existence on the planet Earth (except when requesting money)? (c) Sleep in a burrow of dirty laundry?
If any of these are true, you have received the correct item. Nice try, though…
BREAK-IN PERIOD:
Jumpers Anonymous
Connie told her 4-year-old grandson, Dean, not to jump on the beds. After several warnings she punished him, explaining that should he fall, he would hurt himself badly.
Several minutes passed… and he was back to jumping
SUNDAY SCHOOL Lesson
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc.
So he asked his class, “Where is Jesus today?”