- “I reckon I’ll have me a half-caf double latte with a twist. IN A DIRTY MUG!”
- “Gentlemen, rather than get caught up in mindless reaction, let’s draw upon our feminine selves for a more intuitive solution.”
- “Can we postpone this duel till 12:05? I gotta use the little boys room.”
- “Let’s see… hardtack and pemmican… that’s three grams of fat, seven grams of protein, and two starches.”
- “You an’ Slim round up them strays, and I’ll tell Cookie to get started on the gazpacho and the fondue.”
- “That’s him! That’s the yella-bellied varmint who shot my therapist!”
- “He was a strong man, a good marshal, and I reckon he had a keen eye for interior decoration.”
- “Hey, Buck, do these chaps make my butt look big?”
- “It’s like I keep tellin’ ya, Earl: men is from Tombstone, women is from Dodge.”