Yet another chapter in the saga of choosing baby names. To get caught up to speed, read the previous articles on baby names.
With 2 sons, I was content to stop;, and just raise my little family. There’s 14 months between the two boys. But after 2 years or so from the birth of son #2, another birth was in store for us. By this time I was on my second enlistment with the Marines, and stationed overseas in Panama. Given the exotic location, and hooping for a girl this time, we planned on the arrival of little Dominique Noel.
Instead, we found out we were to be blessed by another little boy. Turning to the pages of the Bible, because by this time we thought that would be our theme for baby names. David was a name we both liked, and there wasn’t any family members with the name, other than a cousin who lived in a different state than our home of record. Little did we know that Robin’s sister was about to marry a David, and others would creep into the family over time, as would other Michaels, and Christophers.
For a middle name, we landed on Isaac. I don’t remember the reasoning behind it, but whether it was a foretelling of his personality or not, we liked the idea of what it meant. Davidmeans beloved, and Isaac means man who laughs. It turned out to be prophetic, even if he may disagree.
During Robin’s pregnancy for the first two sons, her belly swelled up, nice, and round, and smooth. Babies are naturally active, and prone to kick, and move around, but generally mommy’s tummy doesn’t show many outward signs of the activity . Not so with kid #3.
The little bundle of joy was very active from early on. Kicks could not just be felt if you put a hand on the belly, but if too much pressure was applied, and it didn’t take a lot, a hard return kick could make your hand jump. Just think of what that means for mom. As the little guy grew, and room inside got less, the kid would push, and stretch. Sometimes you almost expected to see a little face outlined on the outside of mom’s tummy… or the image of a butt crack looking at you. Little, misshapen lumps frequently appeared, and the kid would suddenly shift to one side or the other. Robin already walks with a slight limp and waddle, due to back and hip trouble. When large with child, the waddle is increased as a natural result from the growing bulge in front. Add to that even further, a kid who insists on clinging to one side, poking her belly out noticeably further on that side than the other.
With all the prenatal gymnastics, and constantly rearranged lumps on mom’s belly, I told Robin, “I know you don’t like my choices for nicknames, but it’s a good thing this kid is a boy. Otherwise it would be weird to call a girl Lumpy.”
“You can’t call him that,” she protested. “that’s not a nice name.”
“What’s wrong with it?” I asked.
“I don’t want any child of mine named Spud.” She said.
“Spud?” I confirmed. “Sure thing, I promise I won’t call him Spud.”
Months pass with me intermittently referring to the kid as Lumpy, and my bride saying I can’t call him Spud. The day came and son #3 was born. I was surprised that his little baby muscles were pretty well defined, and buff. But what else did you expect from a kid who just spent most of the past nine months using mom’s insides for his personal gym?
“That does it,” I said, “this kid is definitely going to be called…” Robin cut me off, “You are not going to name him Spud, or Potato Head, or anything like that.”
I couldn’t help laughing. “I never said anything about Potato Head, but that’s funny. Fine, on his birth certificate, he’ll be named David Isaac, but to me he’s going to be Lumpy Spud Potato Head.”
“No,” Robin protested. “You promised me you wouldn’t name him Spud…”
“I never had plans on calling him Spud, and I never said anything about Potato Head… until now.” I said. “That part was all your doing.”
I think that Robin thought a name like Lumpy was kind of frumpy, or maybe belonged to the kind of a kid who was chubby, and built like a sack of potatoes. I get that, but Lumpy describes who the kid was while inside her tummy, and his little, lumpy muscles when he was born. Spud, and Potato Head was just a couple of unfortunate add ons. I don’t know where Robin got them, but it really was her who kept bringing those names up… not me.
Ever since that day, the kid has been any thing but frumpy or chubby. He was the fastest runner in his grade school classes. He has always been buff and thin.
But that’s the story of how we came to have a kid named Lumpy Spud Potato Head David Isaac. By far the kid with the biggest name ever in the family, and the smallest of his brothers once they reached adulthood. Mike is a little shorter, but lets just say, a bit more robust.