Talking over coffee, the realization hits that you miss the grandkids, and wish they could visit more often. Wouldn’t it be nice if they could stay over. We have the room. Kids are cute, it would be great. Then it happens. They’re here. Six of them, and without mommy or daddy. Why do I have… Continue reading The Reality of a Visit from the Grandkids
Category: Humor
The Changing Winds of War
Or, a Hard Day’s Battle Or, Floundering in the Wind Or, I should Have Just Stayed Home Today To the seas! Let’s Go! set sail; We’re confident, strong,, and unshaken in belief; With winds of victory, we can’t help but prevail. Make each enemy fall! Give them grief! On wings of eagles, full sails race… Continue reading The Changing Winds of War
Dedication
Or… Successful Ice Fishing Two men have been sitting out on a lake all day long ice fishing. One has been having no luck at all, while the other has been pulling fish after fish out of his hole in the ice. The man having no luck finally leans over and asks the other what… Continue reading Dedication
Real Resume and Cover Letter Excerpts
These are said to be taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in Fortune Magazine: I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience. I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms. Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year. Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave. Wholly responsible for… Continue reading Real Resume and Cover Letter Excerpts
Squeezing Lemons
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the […]
HOW TO ASSIST A SIGHTED PERSON
Author unknown Sighted people are accustomed to viewing the world in visual terms. This means that in many situations, they will not be able to communicate orally and may resort to pointing or other gesturing. Subtle facial expressions may also be used to convey feelings in social situations. Calmly alert the sighted person to his… Continue reading HOW TO ASSIST A SIGHTED PERSON
Blind People Are Faking It!
Citizens, hear us well. Our great nation is being undermined by a secret society of individuals who carry deadly white truncheons and lead vicious attack animals in public on a daily basis. These mysterious folk also have a secret means of communication, while shocking new evidence seems to indicate that they may even possess senses… Continue reading Blind People Are Faking It!
Reviving Old Proverbs
Old sayings and figures of speech get a second wind, with the help of 4th graders. The grass is always greener when… you leave the sprinkler on. A rolling stone… plays the guitar. The grass is always greener… when you remember to water it. A bird in the hand is… a real mess. No news… Continue reading Reviving Old Proverbs
Dear IRS
Enclosed is my Tax Return & payment. Please take note of the attached article from the USA Today newspaper. In the article, you will see that the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat. Please find enclosed
Teenage Drivers
I decided to stop worrying about my teenage son’s driving and take advantage of it. I got one of those bumper stickers that say, “How’s my driving?” and put a 900 number on it. “At 50 cents a call, I’ve been making $38 a week!”