From the Archives of Email Sent to My Podcast: That Sounds Funny
January 2021
Hello Keith, Terry, and Jill,
My husband, Lucifer, listens to your show every week and has been tuning in since the very first episode. I have listened to a few episodes myself, some of which were extremely funny, though I do not have time to listen to all of them—sorry!
I’ve been wanting my husband to share this story, but he refuses, so I am telling it myself. What I did completely backfired on me, and I’ve certainly learned my lesson.
My mother-in-law once told me how picky an eater my husband was growing up and how she had to hide vegetables in his food so he would eat them. She had to camouflage them well. I, however, don’t need to camouflage anything because my husband has been blind since I met him in 2010.
My story takes place shortly after we were married in 2011. I had made homemade tacos for dinner and asked him what he wanted on his. He told me, “shells, meat, lettuce, cheese” (just like in the song It’s Raining Tacos). I like the same ingredients, but with sour cream, tomatoes, and raw onions.
I “accidentally” on purpose gave my husband one of my tacos alongside his three, and he ate them all without a single complaint. He knew what effect raw onions had on his body, but I didn’t.
The next evening, we were driving home and were just about to pull into our driveway when I smelled a really odd, stinky odor. My husband started snickering while my eyes began to water. I threw the van into park, shut off the motor, and opened the door. My daughter, her boyfriend, and I all scrambled out and began vomiting in the front yard because it smelled so horribly bad.
Meanwhile, my husband just laughed, strolled past us, and went to unlock the front door, saying, “Don’t feed me raw onions again.”
After about an hour, I sent my daughter out to the van with a can of air freshener. She cracked the door open and sprayed the entire can inside.
The next morning, we opened the van doors, and it still stunk. It was ripe, foul, stinky, old, and lingering. I wanted to puke all over again.
Since then, my husband has given me a comprehensive list of foods that give him gas and make him really stinky. I will never mix up his food again!
From,
Mrs. Lucifer
PS:Oh yeah, I hope this makes it on the show
