What the Ads Say, and What They Really Mean.
Helping you figure out those slick and glossy sales pitches from Head-Hunters and recruiters. Here are what they actually mean.
<!–more–><dl><dt> “JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY”
<dd> We have no time to train you; you’ll have to introduce yourself to your co-workers.
<dt> “IMMEDIATE OPENING”
<dd> The person who used to have this job gave notice a month ago. We’re just now running the ad.
<dt> “PENSION/RETIREMENT BENEFITS”
<dd> After 3 years, we’ll allow you to fund your own 401(k) and, if you behave we’ll give you a 5 percent matching contribution.
<dt> “COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT”
<dd> We have a lot of turnover.
<dt> “EXCITING AND PROFESSIONAL WORK ENVIRONMENT”
<dd> Guys in grey suits will bore you with tales of squash and their weekends on yachts.
<dt> “JOIN OUR DYNAMIC TEAM”
<dd> We all listen to nutty motivational tapes.
<dt> “MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED”
<dd> You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
<dt>”FLEXIBLE HOURS”
<dd>Work 40 hours; get paid for 25.
<dt> “DUTIES WILL VARY”
<dd> Anyone in the office can boss you around.
<dt> “MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL”
<dd> We have no quality control. .
<dt> “SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE”
<dd> You’ll need it to replace three people who just left.
<dt> “PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST”
<dd> You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
<dt> “REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS”
<dd> You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
<dt> “GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS”
<dd> Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
<dt> “ABILITY TO HANDLE A HEAVY WORKLOAD”
<dd> You whine, you’re fired.
</dl>