The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!
DANGEROUS:
What's for dinner?
SAFER:
Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST:
Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE:
Here, have some chocolate.
Dangerous:
Are you wearing that?
Safer:
Wow, you sure look good in brown!
Safest:
WOW! Look at you!
Ultra Safe:
Here, have some chocolate
Dangerous:
What are you so worked up about?
Safer:
Could we be overreacting?
Safest:
Here's my paycheck.
Ultra Safe:
Here, have some chocolate.
Dangerous:
Should you be eating that?
Safer:
You know, there are a lot of apples left.
Safest:
Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
Ultra Safe:
Here, have some chocolate.
Dangerous:
What did you DO all day?
Safer:
I hope you didn't over-do it today.
Safest:
I've always loved you in that robe!
Ultra Safe:
Here, have some more chocolate.