Dangling Participles

(Culled from newspapers)

• - The burglar was about 30 years old, white, 5' 10", with wavy hair weighing about 150 pounds.
  (Now, that's a lot of hair!)

• - The family lawyer will read the will tomorrow at the residence of Mr. Hannon, who died June 19 to accommodate his relatives.
  (What a considerate guy.)

• - Mrs. Shirley Baxter, who went deer hunting with her husband, is very proud that she was able to shoot a fine buck as well as her husband.
  (I guess he wasn't aware of that new target hunting suit his wife bought for him.)

• - Organ donations from the living reached a record high last year, outnumbering donors who are dead for the first time.
  (So that explains why I woke up in a hotel bath tub with a new scar on my lower back!)

• - The dog was hungry and made the mistake of nipping a 2-year-old that was trying to force feed it in his ear.
  (huh?)

• - We spent most of our time sitting on the back porch watching the cows playing Scrabble and reading.
  (Now them is some smart cows.)

• - Hunting can also be dangerous, as in the case of pygmies hunting elephants armed only with spears.
  (I don't think elephants need spears to be dangerous.)