Things You’ll Never Hear In A Western Movie

April 12th, 2011
  • "I reckon I'll have me a half-caf double latte with a twist. IN A DIRTY MUG!"
  • "Gentlemen, rather than get caught up in mindless reaction, let's draw upon our feminine selves for a more intuitive solution."
  • "Can we postpone this duel till 12:05? I gotta use the little boys room."
  • "Let's see... hardtack and pemmican... that's three grams of fat, seven grams of protein, and two starches."

  • "You an' Slim round up them strays, and I'll tell Cookie to get started on the gazpacho and the fondue."
  • "That's him! That's the yella-bellied varmint who shot my therapist!"
  • "He was a strong man, a good marshal, and I reckon he had a keen eye for interior decoration."
  • "Hey, Buck, do these chaps make my butt look big?"
  • "It's like I keep tellin' ya, Earl: men is from Tombstone, women is from Dodge."

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